Relationships can go wrong wrong but in my case mine is going amazingly right in so many ways. I am currently in a relationship with this amazing guy named Darrell Jones. I am so happy I have him in my life he is so amazing in so many ways and I love him so much. Darrell and I have been together for 8 months it will be 9 months in February the 14th. We got together May 14th 2012 and before we became boyfriend and girlfriend..... Wait for it OK here is the story.... I was hanging out with this guy named David Rum OK we weren't just hanging out we were dating. While we were dating I met Darrell, David, Darrell and I went to David's house and decided to play games. David then started playing his guitar and I sang along, I noticed Darrell staring at me as I was singing. His eyes at me and my eyes at him. I then looked at David at smiled at him and he smiled back at me. After three days of dating David i decided that it wasn't working out so I broke things off I then started dating Darrell and it is working out amazingly.
Now lets talk about relationships that have gone bad, lets put it this way and think about fairy tales for a bit.
Now lets talk about relationships that have gone bad, lets put it this way and think about fairy tales for a bit.
Cinderella is one of the leading causes of divorce. If you don’t believe me, read on......
Most women grow up with Disney’s version of a storybook romance
fueling their desire to fall in love, get married, have children and
live happily ever after. Once we are a little older we continue on our
path with movies like Sleepless in Seattle, Pretty Woman and The Holiday
keeping our fantasies alive. We almost have no chance; we are pumped
with romance not only in movies, but in novels, magazines and of course
societal pressure to get married before we become old maids. What’s a
girl to do?
We finally meet a guy that seems worthy of our love and we get
married. We plan a big wedding and get lost in the excitement of it all.
Unfortunately, nobody really tells you that marriage takes a lot of
work and dedication, they simply congratulate you.
I was no different. I bought into the whole handsome prince taking me
away on his white horse nonsense and I liked it. It’s exciting to think
about actually. I met my prince and he was a good guy. I had a ball
planning my wedding. I got so busy planning my wedding that I forgot to
pay attention to my relationship.
Several years and a few kids into my marriage I decided I wasn’t
happy because my ex wasn’t the prince I thought he was going to be. In
other words, he didn’t sweep me off my feet each day, tell me how
beautiful I was and how much he loved me, buy me lots of big expensive
gifts, fly me all over the world showing me all that life had to offer
and oh yea, he didn’t help me with all of the extensive details required
in running a household and raising little kids. Most of all, he didn’t
“make me happy” like the prince is supposed to do. Or so I
thought...Looking back he was a great prince and he did buy me nice
things, take me away on nice vacations and buy me a very nice home to
raise out kids in. I didn't see it though because I was so buried in my
story that I couldn't see my reality.
I saw those princesses dancing around and singing when they thought
about the man they loved and I wasn’t singing or dancing. In fact, I was
kind of depressed. I built up years of resentment that made matters
even worse. What I didn’t realize until a year or two after I got divorced was
that I was the one who was supposed to “make me happy.” Go figure. All
those years I blamed him for not making me happy and it wasn’t even his job.
This is a common misconception in relationships on both sides,
actually. We so often look outside of ourselves for happiness and in
reality; the only person who can make us happy is ourselves.
Unfortunately, it is often after the divorce that many people learn this
lesson, if ever.
The man in cases like these is often shocked and surprised by the
fact that his wife is going to leave him. He thought everything was
going along fine. The house was clean, dinner was on the table and he
had the house, the wife, the dog and 2.3 kids.
He had no idea he was
even playing the role of the prince, let alone what the job requirements
were. How was he supposed to do the right thing when he didn’t know
what that meant? He went off to work each day, working hard to provide
for his family like every young man is taught to do. He is told by the
men in his life that if he worked hard to get ahead and provide for his
family everything would be great. While I was married I lost my identity and my individuality. I got so
busy trying to be the perfect wife and mother that I forgot to take
care of me. I forgot what I stood for and what made me who I was. I
spent the last 5 years figuring out what makes me happy and becoming the
responsible party for making me happy. I urge you to take time after
your divorce to “find yourself.” Figure out what makes you happy. Many
women lose themselves in relationships and forget what is important to
them. Do some exploring and figure out what you really want in a
relationship before you get into another one?
There is no point in
getting into another relationship and making the same mistakes you made
in the first one. What’s the hurry? Take some time for yourself and get
to know yourself again. I’m willing to bet that you will like the person
you find. The time it takes will be worth it because it will shape your
future-don’t repeat the past. If you put your self in a relationship like Cinderella's your not going to like it and want to change the way hings are going in your relationship and that's not going to be good cause the person you are in a relationship with might wanna tell the story differently when people ask you what happened and when and how come you guys broke up. Anyway relationships might go the way you plan on them to go but don't think that it will. If you really like the person you are with make sure they like you too and if you both think it is going to work out then ask your selves questions like: Does this person really like me and do I like them, How much does this person care about me and do I care about them, and does this person support me and do I support them.
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